Sunday, December 6, 2009

Starting Up Again...

I was thinking last night...(yes quite a concept for those that know me..haha! That I really needed to get back into this again...I don't know if anyone really reads this, (except Starlene) but I realize that it doesn't really matter. The times that I am writing I seem to be the most at peace, no matter what seems to be going on around me.
Someone once asked me "Why do you feel the need to air all of your dirty laundry in such an open forum? Do you just need the attention?" Well...hmmmm...I guess the answer to that would be is it better to keep all the skeletons in the closet? And no, I don't "need" the attention...(Lord knows I don't need anymore attention) but somehow it feels healthier to sit here and "get it out". It seems to help me focus...and as I was re-vamping my blog, I sat and read some of my earlier posts. (yes Starlene, I took them all down...long story) Some of the posts made me cry. ALOT! Some, made me laugh...mostly I saw growth and strength. Strength that I most times forget that I have...
I don't know if I have the energy or the courage today to launch into a full scale blog...just wanted to pop my head in here and dust the cobwebs off...
I am in my "licking my wounds" stage in life yet again...(I did mention that I am a drama junkie didn't I?) I have this person in (and out) of my life that perpetuates the "junkie" part of me...I can't seem to live with him, or without him for that matter. I, for some crazy reason, have this eternal hope that someday, he and I will just get it together, be responsible "adults" and we will co-exist in some sort of harmony...hahahahahahaha! Wow that's pretty freakin' funny! Just looking at that statement made me almost fall off my chair! But really and truly...I do pray for that...
But today...I just can't seem to talk about it. Not here anyway...it just brings fresh waves of tears...and I need to spend some of my Sunday playing with my babies...
For those of you that have never read one of my blogs...strap in for an E ticket ride...(I know I sure the hell have to!)
I hope in some of my ramblings...I will say something of importance that will touch someone and help them...the way that some of the things that I have read from people that I love and care about, have helped me...
Peace and aloha to all...